I came to a decision the other day... I guess you could say I have been approaching the decision from all angles while still avoiding it like a back hole for over two years.
I still look at it as a hole in the floor, no longer a hole in the galaxy. A hole to another level in our lives that I have only imagined.
I harbor self created images as a best guess to the result. Deep down, I know this best guess is elementary and not at all accurate of reality, but it is all I have. I am scared to death... and at the same time so very excited.
I am scared that I will change, knowing fully that I will. Mike will change and so will our relationship. There will be rough times. There will also be times that will far exceed all preceding "best days" we have lived before.
I think the hardest thing about changing, is when you are happy with where you are. I am so happy in my life right now. That makes it easier on one hand and harder on the other. I could be content living life everyday with Mike as we are now. I would always wounder how good it could have been, with just a little more.
We have already made moves toward this, but I never could say, "Alright... now is good." That is, until right now. And it makes my heart race and it makes me smile.
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