Birthday

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

My parents came and picked up Eva to stay with them overnight.

I had been up a lot in the last few nights with contractions.

They offered to give us a break.

We almost said no.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

4:00 a.m. - 7:00 a.m.

Contractions off and on.

Uncomfortable, but not super painful...

but really, really tiring.

8:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.

Nap time.

I slept and slept.

It felt great.

When I woke up, I headed outside to water the garden.

It was over 90° outside and I was sweaty.

So I decided to head to the mall.

2:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.

I walked the mall.

Climbed flights of stairs and walked some more.

I was having a few contractions, but nothing in a pattern.

There was this tight feeling that had been there for days.

Like I was wearing way too tight pants.

I decided to call it a day and headed out.

4:15 p.m.

In the parking lot, my water broke.

I stood by my car for a bit...

thanking God that it didn't happen in the middle of the mall.

I was also waiting to see what happened.

I felt a ton less pressure and more comfortable than I had in over a week.

I decide to get in the car and head home.

I called Michael on the way...

I didn't want him to tell me not to drive so I started driving first.

4:30 p.m.

Home.

I hoped in the shower and Michael came home.

Loaded the car and called my parents.

Told them to turn around...

they had been on their way to bring Eva home.

I was so relaxed.

We were not rushing around like I thought we would be.

I felt great.

5:00 p.m.

Triage in Labor and Delivery.

I was still dilated to 3 cm.

Same as the last two weeks.

That scared me.

I was still not really having contractions.

I started worrying.

I just wanted things to happen on their own...

and I knew that I had a ticking clock since my water had broke.

6:00 p.m.

I made a plan to walk the floor.

I walked to my delivery room.

I got to the room and I had a big contraction.

Finally, I thought, something is happening.

Then I had another and another.

They were right on top of one another.

I never walked the hall.

I was barely holding it together.

Breathing was hard.

At some point the nurse checked and I was 7 cm.

I had planned on an epidural at some point.

There was no time.

Michael was holding me up.

Rubbing my back and reminding me to breath.

I felt like my body was turning inside out...

7:00 p.m.

I felt "pushy"...

My nurse went into high gear.

Don't push was my only instruction.

That was the hardest thing I have ever done...

the not pushing.

All of the sudden people were every where and I was in the bed.

Complete and ready to push.

Pushing was the best thing ever.

7:11 p.m.

Theodore Michael was born.

Two hours and 11 minutes after walking into the hospital.

It was crazy, but so very awesome.

36 Weeks

This is my last week working.

The part-time return to my old job has been fun...

and it was perfect timing.

A return to my pre-mommy time - different brain parts required.

A little extra income for baby Deedle things.

And a reminder as to how complicated working an hour from home can be.

Another fun things about work...

there is room to do belly-photo shots in the bathroom.

I can't believe I am 36 weeks pregnant.

And then I look down at my swollen ankles...

today is the first day they have swelled... how fitting.

From the front - I am not so impressive...

then I turn sideways.

That is when the comments come.

You must be due any day.

You will never make it to July.

Look at that watermelon belly.

Deedle is sticking way out there.

I had to move the seat back in the car...

I even had to back the car out of the garage and repark the other day.

I was too close on my side in the garage and couldn't squeeze out.

Dear Deedle,

You are moving like crazy.

Body parts are poking and jutting out.

You almost scared the grocery cashier to death the other day.

 You completed one of your high kick round-house moves...

he went ghostly pale and jumped back away from the counter.

I thought he was going to faint...

"Is it coming out... are you okay?"

One more week and I am giving you the green light...

head on this way when ever you are ready.

We can't wait to meet you.

I have been getting things ready for you.

There are piles of clean clothes and diapers.

Bags are out and I even have a few things packed.

Next week is my crunch time.

I have list of to-do's and I am ready to get them checked off.

See you soon.

Love Mommy


Joining: Happiness is...

Dear Deedle

32 weeks Deedle.

Humming right along.

Well, humming sounds slow.

Feels more like racing.

You are so active.

Your punches and kicks have been really creeping people out. 

The guy at the grocery went pale when multiple body parts came jabbing out toward him.

I promised him you wouldn't be crawling out...

I don't think that helped.

You big sister is not a fan of my disappearing lap.

She told you the other day while I was holding her...

Move baby Deedle. Move.

As she pushed on my belly....

first one side and then the other.

Fair warning, I think she might be a little bit bossy.

She calls you baby Deedle.

Once you have a real name even, I think Deedle might be hard to shake.

It makes me grin every time she says it.

We are so excited to meet you.

Just a little bit longer.

Love you,

Us

Crave

This is all Deedle...

and I have to say, my first ever weird pregnancy craving.

Weird for me that is.

With Eva, I had cravings.

But they were always for something I already loved.

Clementines...

yeah I ate them by the crate full.

But I loved them before and still do.

This this is not me.

I don't eat bananas.

And ice cream...

I like it okay, but in tiny doses.

And much to Michael's dismay...

I never crave it.

Oh but I crave this....

Peanut butter, ice cream and bananas.

And I only want it at night.

Did I mention...

there are chocolate chips in there too?

Heaven help me.

Joining: Communal Global and Sweet Shot

Feet up

This weekend was a rare one.

All of us home...
all weekend.

We were excited for plans to visit our dear friends brand-new baby girl.

But, Eva popped up with a running nose and cough.

Even though we were looking forward to newborn snuggling and visiting...

It was a good call to cancel, because the little runny nose turned into big fever.

So we read a lot of books...

 and things were a lot more quiet around here than normal.

The weather was too perfect Sunday to stay inside all day...

so a few trips to the park filled rounded out the weekend.

Things are still quiet this morning...
we have been snuggling on the couch and reading books.



Since my body has been screaming at me to take an easy and slow down...
I think we both will be couch potatoes today.

Right now, the last thing I want to do is relax.
I have this screaming desire to clean everything.

Yesterday, I have cleaned out my dresser...
cleaned all the floors upstairs...
including under-beds and all the base boards.

After that, I ran to get this weeks groceries.
By the end of the night, my back was so sore...
I had a little trouble walking.

So, I have promised to take more breaks...
and yes Michael... I am listening.
Feet up and a big glass of water.

  

   

Today

I worked today.

Normally when I drop Eva off, she runs happily away.

By Bye Mommy.

Not today.

No No Mommy, please no.

It wasn't the first time she fussed, but it was the first time she begged me not to leave.

My heart broke a little.

Then, as I got in the car, it broke some more.

I thought about it all on the rest of my drive.

How things were now...
and how they were supposed to be.

Me, just working a day here and there, for a little bonus money...

instead of 50 plus hours a week as the main earner in our home.

I was feeling really thankful by the time I made it to work.

work bathroom belly shot

Being reminded of our old plan.

Everyday, I would have been dropping her off and rushing off to work.

I know so many people do it, and they do it so well, with such grace.
i had wanted to keep my career... thought it would have been just fine.

But today was a great big reminder on how hard it would have been.

We left the house at 6:45 am this morning...
and we were running late.

I got to work at 8:30...
I should have been there 45 minutes before that.

I left close to 4:30...
Eva and I were home by 6:00.

A normal day I wouldn't leave until 5:30... 

home by 7:00.

Eva in bed at 8:00.

Just one hour with her...

the hospital basement

I sent Michael a message...

thanking him for making our lives the way they are now.

Supporting us, supporting me and our decision.

Giving up our old plan for this new one.

Taking it all in stride and making it work.

Working more hours and sacrificing more of his time so there is more time for us.

The three of us thank you so much.


    

Melted

You threw your bowl at me this morning.

All Done!

Cue hysterical laughter.

Never mind that I was dressed 

and then had to change out of the yogurt splattered shirt.

Or that it managed to get in my hair.

After your time-out for throwing food, you came and gave me a big hug.

I sorry Mommy.

Hugs and your big dimpled grin.

Then, you wanted to "see" the baby.

Usually that means you want to play with my belly button and giggle.

Up went the shirt...

Instead, you started singing...

Twinkle Twinkle little star

up so high in the sky....

Twinkle, twinkle in the sky.

I melted into a puddle.

Week 14 of 52

Styleberry 

Firecracker Mama • Wicked Kate • What We're Saying
Love & Life • Finding Joy

Here

Spring is here!

I has been lovely outside.

Sunshine and breezes.

Pop-up thunderstorms and hail.

The ones that go right back to sunshine...

and leave that clean, green smell behind.

Seems like everyone is coming out of hibernation.

Our whole street was outside today.

Catching up on what happened over the winter.

It is like we have all been gone...

and are back in town finally.

A four year old from a few houses down came over to visit today.

She cracked me up...

You're having a little baby.  

Yep, I am.

My mommy said you were pregnant 

but told me I shouldn't ask - just in case.

In case what? I asked her - really curious now.

I guess, in case you were having something else.

Last wek it seemed like I was getting ready to go somewhere...

going somewhere...

was somewhere...

or heading back from somewhere the entire week.

Hoping to to just be here more this week.

Take more walks and play in the grass.

Happy Monday.

   å

Cupcakes, cookies and teeth

Cupcakes.

Eva calls them birthday cakes... and she is a huge fan.

She also requests the Happy Birthday Song by saying...

Sing Birthday Cake!

Michael and I sang the Happy Birthday song at dinner last night no less than 8 times.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

So when I broke the tooth Friday...

I was really thinking quick fix.

Nope.

So, here is my confession.

Last time I had been to the dentist was right before I became pregnant with Eva.

Yeah - I know - 3 years.

Pregnancy, nursing the Eva-monster.

Second pregnancy with enormous amounts of vomiting.

Neglecting the dentist...

equals bad situation in the mouth.

So, I need 2 root canals.

I also need a host of other treatments.

A few minor cavities and some enamel erosion.

So, mommies out there.

I know you are super busy...

We make excuses.

I hate the dentist too.

But get to the dentist.

Make it a priority.

You are worth the time and so is your healthy smile.

Great news is that I love my new dentist!

Good thing because we are going to be seeing a lot of each other for a while.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

24 weeks along with Deedle.

Kicking and a bumping along.

I look pregnant now. 

When I hug Michael - my belly touches first.

We have a lot of friends with babies on the way too.

There are some first timers and even a lot of second babies on the way.

Deedle is going to have lots of playmates.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Girl Scout cookies...

why?

You make me warm and fuzzy when I buy you.

Helping out the girls... 

it feels like charity.

Then I can't stop eating you.

I had half a box of cookies last night.

And now my supply is getting low.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Joining: Project52 : The "eyes" of March
Week 11 of 52

Styleberry 

Firecracker Mama • Wicked Kate • What We're Saying
Love & Life • Finding Joy

A Foot

Dear Deedle,

Hi little one.

This morning, I woke up early.

I sat in bed and watched the sun come up over the trees.

You were awake too...

stretching, dancing, rolling around.

I could see you making bumps and waves on the outside of my belly.

We talked.

I poked you back.

Sang you a song and said a little prayer.

You had your big check-up last week.

It was so amazing.

Everything is just right.

They surprised us with a 3D peak at you.

We had never seen an ultrasound like that.

Your little mouth and nose look just like your big sister's.

That little pout is the one she makes when she is asleep.

Her mouth doesn't relax like that very often, otherwise.

You also have a nice sized head.

It was measuring almost 2 weeks ahead of schedule.

The rest of you was right on track or a few days behind.

There is your little foot and toes.

You spent sometime using my bladder as a trampoline.

Those exact words of the ultrasound technician.

No wonder I always running to the bathroom.

Grow grow grow little one.

And move that head south, feet north...kay?

Love you tons and tons.

Joining: Communal Global and Sweet Shot

Hello

Dear Deedle,

I was just sitting here sorting through some files.

Cleaning... I think nesting has begun early. 

And you decided to say hello.

Tiny little thumps from the inside.

Stronger than they have been before.

I broke out in giggles.

And started talking to you.

Thump thump  

hi sweetie  

thump thump 

 how are things in there?  

thump thump

good, well things are good out here

thump thump

a little push with my hand...

thump thump thump

I wouldn't, couldn't move...

afraid it would stop.

It was very timely.

You see, your mommy is a huge klutz...

and she fell down the stairs yesterday.  

I landed on my butt, elbow and head...

and rode those body parts the rest of the way down.

I am so sore...

but nothing hurts close to you.

But I was a little worried.

And of course you were quiet last night...

probably comfy and cozy sleeping away.

So, hello back little one.

It was wonderful to talk to you.

Our first conversation was amazing.

Love, Mommy


  


Joining: Wordful Wednesday

Mirror

Michael and I bought a mirror tonight.

We have a big blank wall and it is driving him nuts.

So, while it was sitting in the kitchen floor...

I took some photos.

I got one before the monster found the mirror too.

I am still not really showing a bunch.

I just look like I put away a few bags of potato chips... family sized.

That is the way I was with Eva too.

Aahh... but soon, very soon.
I will be large.

Dancing and singing...

making crazy faces at herself.

Good thing this sucker is hanging high on the wall...

look at all those monster prints!

Joining: Project52 : Self Portrait
Frivolous Friday
and Embrace the Camera

Moments

•••

Yesterday was a hard mommy day and, for once, it wasn't because I was feeling horrible...

I was feeling just fine in fact.

The monster was a real monster.

Whining, yelling, crying, hitting kicking.

Throwing her self down on the the floor and being dead weight.

By the time 7:00 hit, I was spent.

I felt completely defeated and useless.

•••

Today was better... kinda.

This morning while I was getting her shoes in her closet...

she ran into the bathroom and turned on the water.

Clothes drenched.

So I redressed her...

after wrestling, chasing, wrestling and chasing some more.

We were almost ready to leave and I was packing her lunch...

Then, I hear the laugh from the kitchen.

The special "I am doing something wrong" laugh.

She had reached her bowl of oatmeal (that she refused to eat for breakfast) off the counter.

It was mashed all over her head, in her hair and on her arms.

It was everywhere... even in her ear.

She had to have a bath to get it out.

That meant changing her clothes for the third time that morning.

•••

Right now she is happily playing in her kitchen...

cooking her baby in the oven and feeding Cookie Monster a mushroom.

When she is cooking in her kitchen she doesn't like when I touch things.

I get that.

•••

I love pomegranate. 

I want it all the time.

I went to two groceries today and there were none.

Is it out of season already?

Please say it isn't so.

•••

Deedle is the size of an apple.

It feels like I constantly am going to bathroom.

I think it is because of said apple.

It is making sneezing and laughing tricky.

Up Deedle up.

•••

I can for sure feel Deedle move around in there.

This is way, way before I felt Eva moving.

It is so awesome.

It makes me giggle and laugh...

and run to the bathroom.

Joining: Life of Love...

after seeing Mereidith's post... thanks.

Dear Deedle

Hi Deedle.

Seems like it has been forever since I wrote you.

The holidays went by with the speed of light...

and here we are, 14 weeks along.

Friday I heard your heartbeat.

 We saw it on the ultrasound a month ago...

but I just realized this morning that was the first time I heard you.

There have been moments where I think I feel you.

They are so fleeting and fast that I just can't be sure.

If that is you...

Hello sweetheart!

If you could, make it last a little bit longer for confirmation.

Last night laying on my stomach, I felt like there was something under me.

I felt around for a sock or a wad of blanket.

Nope... just you.

That was fun.

I giggled and told your daddy.

I had my first day of not getting sick on Friday.

Thanks a lot for that.

Even though I was sick Saturday morning...

it is good to know that a whole day is possible.

More shall be coming down the pipeline, I am sure.

I picked up these little outfits the other day while Eva and I were thrifting.

There is nothing like a gown and a onesie that shouts tiny newborn.

In the basement, there is a tub of clothes.

The unisex newborn goodness that we had for your big sister.

I went through it over the summer and made sure only the good stuff was left.

A big part of me wants to run and add your things to the closet.

Rearrange some drawers and furniture.

Make a place for you.

But you have a place right now...

and you need to stay there quite a bit longer.

So I will wait...

and be content with washing and folding a little gown and a tiny onesie.

Hang tight and wiggle some more.

Love you.

Patient

Written December 6, 2011

Ok little one...

Your big sister is napping.

I was babysitting for a friend and they just left.

And now I am bawling my eyes out.

Why one might ask?

Toy Story 3.

It is a good movie for a 4 year old who is sad about his mommy being gone.

It is also a sneaky emotional movie, especially when you are pregnant and hormonal.

Babies grow up.

They turn into little kids.

Little kids grow up and go to college.

I know you might not even have eyelashes yet, 

but before you blink you will be walking and talking.

With your sister, I was so impatient.

9 months seemed way too long to wait to meet her.

Although I am so excited to meet you...

I am fine with having you be all snuggled inside for right now.

Time will be over before I know it...

and I am rushing nothing this time.

However, I think my hormones are high enough okay?

These Christmas commercials are making me misty.

Tiny

Written: November 11, 2010

Dear Deedle,

So we are humming along at 6 weeks.

You are about the size of one of those delightful red berries. 

That seems way too tiny to me.

Too tiny for what you are.

A great, big, huge deal.

We haven't told many people.

Just a few friends because I can't hold the secret in.

We are going to surprise the family on Thanksgiving.

Everyone will be together and there will be great food to celebrate.


I am trying not to be nervous... not to worry.
Tell myself that everything will be as it should be.


Then I try to think of other things.
Your big sister will throw her lunch on the floor to help me out.

I will forget for a tiny split second that you are in there growing.

Then, I get a flash of your existence and it almost overwhelms me.

I have squealed out loud when this has happened.
And then I giggle.

You make us very happy.

In a name

Written November 8, 2011

Dear Deedle,

Deedle was your sister's name.

Her name as she grew from being microscopic to 7 pounds of joy.

It no longer fits her...

for she quickly grew into being our monster.

Deedle always belonged to the excitement of the unknown.

The little creature that we had in our lives growing day-by-day, 

but still felt like we hadn't been properly introduced.

It is our baby growing name.

Your name until we get to meet on the outside.

It served you big sister well.

That would describe you now little one...

and think the monster would want to pass on her previous title.

So Deedle, hello.

Hang tight and grow.

Much love,

Your Mommy, Daddy and the Eva Monster.

  

Oh My

Written: November 1, 2011
Catching up...

Okay little one... 

your daddy was right.

You are really on your way here.

I haven't told anyone yet.

It is weird being the only one who knows.

I am shaking.

I went to bed last night at 10.

I wanted to go to bed at 8.

I haven't kept down breakfast or lunch.

Dinner is cooking and it makes me feel awful to smell it.

I took a test on Friday and it was negative.
The one the next day was negative too.

It made me cry.

Today it was positive.

Two big pink lines.

I am still crying.

Eva is going to be a big sister.

She is a monster, but you will love her so much.

July 4, 2012...

that is my estimate.

I can't wait to tell your daddy.

I am so very excited.

He is going to be over the moon.

It is all he wanted for his birthday...

2 days after, but I don't think he will mind at all.