this year

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
Laozi

I read that and it stuck with me.

Let go.

Then I wrote a great big long post trying to say what I meant perfectly...
but really it didn't say what I meant at all.

When am I going to learn - I am not great with a lot of words.

SO this year I want to let go of a lot of things.
Worrying, perfection, being scared.

And stuff.
I need to let go of a lot of stuff.

Thats it.

Oh and exercise more consistently - and not get frustrated when I just can't.
Can't be left off the band wagon on that one.

Aim: make plans

Making plans...

I was so good at this at work.  

I planned, adapted, decided, and executed.

I did this for me and my 6 fulltime and 48 part time employees...

who were spread out across 8 states and 2 time zones.

It was almost seamless...

and when something went wrong, it was fixed rapid fire.

My boss loved me because I could get things done.

I was organized.

Why I am now disorganized mess?

There is just 3 of us.

One address.

One time zone.

Well, I had no plan an I had no clue where to start.

So I started small.

I planned our meals.

For all of October and November.

Wow.

What a difference.

I knew what to buy at the grocery.

We wasted no food because what I bought was used.

Things were defrosted and ingredients were all on hand.

The holidays creeped in the way and I slacked off.

But, I am back on track.

I even added a blog page to keep me in line.

As long as I make my lists while someone is napping.

Aim: a walk

We live a few blocks from the library.  On nice days we walk.  

We were heading out, it was snowing and Eva couldn't get away from the windows.

She loves watching the snow fall.

When the thought crossed my mind: 

I wish we could walk up there, but it is too cold.  

She could get sick.  What if she isn't warm enough.  What if is snows harder....

I was getting ready to warm up the car, and stopped myself.

Stop it.

Stop worrying.

So I did.

We bundled up.

Layers, layers and more layers.
I hurried, before I changed my mind.
(Result earmuffs = inside out)

I popped Eva in the sling and topped us both with Michael's coat.
We left before I could even think of changing my mind.
My heart was racing until we reached the corner.

That is when Eva started giggling.

She tried to catch the snow flakes.

It was nice.
Nothing to worry about.

Aim: read more

I have completed one book since Eva was born... 

one.

Before that I was on a pregnancy book extravaganza.  

I read a lot on how I was going to raise a human and survive it too.

I started this today since it is borrowed from a friend...

Well, lets be honest here...

I will start this book today.

Right after I clean the kitchen.

Aiming high

That was me, about 5 years ago in Colorado.  

We were on our way 13,000 or so feet into the sky and just passed through the cloud line.

It was surreal to be above the clouds.

So very high in the sky, but with your feet still on the ground.

So on to it... 

a week into the new year and I finally hashed out what I am aiming for in 2011.  

I like the word AIM.  

It is short, simple word.  

When you aim for something, you go for it... 

but even if you don't (or can't) hit the bullseye, you still make progress.  I like that.

In 2011, I aim to...

read more

worry less

take care

make plans

be silly

5 aims, 10 words and a whole lot of changes to make.

Elaborations to come.