surprise

Arriving July 2017!!!

That's right folks, we are going to be a family of 6 this summer!

We are super excited and can't wait to meet this little person that will complete our family. 

We found out November 1st, but waited to tell the kids right before Christmas.  

The kiddos are all convinced we are having a baby brother.  No matter how we try and explain that it is pretty much a 50/50 split on being a boy or girl, they aren't listening.  Only time will tell, I guess.  Michael and I are very tempted to see what this little one is at the ultrasound, but breaking a tradition of delivery room surprise is tough.  We have a few more weeks before we have to decide... 

Eva has been asking for another baby since Helena was born.  She likes all things to be even, and three as you know is not an even number.   We were pretty sure we were all done a year ago.  Sure to the point we passed on baby and maternity things.  Our family of 5 was feeling perfect. 

Then the kids started asking and asking.  They quickly recruited their daddy on their team.  I was coming along to the idea, but I was quite surprised to see it happen for real.  Lets just say that sometimes those handy tracking apps can be really, really wrong. 

So here we are, second trimester and counting.  I am finally feeling human again and it is wonderful.  I think this has been the sickest pregnancy so far, and I was feeling that advanced maternal age, hardcore. There have been significant baby thumps felt and even Michael has felt this wiggle-worm a time or two.  It was extremely exciting to feel them this early.  Grow Deedle grow.

hello

Introducing...

Helena Ann

born September 28, 2014 at 3:36 p.m.

7 pounds 2 ounces  •  19 3/4 inches long

We are all so glad to finally meet our Deedle. We have been busy holding, snuggling, swaddling, kissing and baby head sniffing over here. This brand new family of five is settling in to a new rhythm.  We are enjoying lots of time together and soaking up these first few days of newborn goodness.

Welcome to the world Helena.

Dear Deedle: packed

Dear Deedle,

The bag is ready.  You have been hinting around that you might be getting ready too.  I only have two more appointments scheduled, and when I made the very last one I thought, "no way I will make it to then..."  I am trying hard not to be impatient.  Trying so hard to take each day as it comes.  Being up every few hours timing contractions and pacing these last few nights is making the waiting much harder.  We really can't wait to meet you, to know you, to name you.  So if you are ready - we are too.

Love, us

Dear Deedle: closing in

Dear Deedle,

Here we are at 34 weeks.  Now we are almost to 35 and the clock ticks. Your body parts are shoving and morphing my belly into something from poltergeist.  It is hilarious... especially when you do this in public to unsuspecting non-parent types.  They kinda freak.  It looks like you are trying to climb out the front, but you are just rearranging things.  

I bought the last item on my "need to buy" list this week.  Unless you are really small and need lots of newborn clothes - we are set.  My to-do list is not that bad really.  A lot of it is just things to the house that I "would like" to have done before you arrive.  Less to worry about later.  But essentially things are ready for you after a few loads of laundry.  

Boy do I feel pregnant.  Woah buddy.  By the end of the day I am tired and can't wait to get off my feet.  And those feet have started to swell just a tiny bit by the end of the day.  Everything else is looking good.  My doctor has been happy with everything so far and we are holding our own - lab work wise.  After a few rounds of strange results, we were sent in for the gamut of testing.  The doctor was worried - but after taking 7 vials of blood and a 24 hour urine sample - we passed with flying colors.  Keeping everyone on their toes already Deedle?  

Can't wait to hold you in a few weeks.  After 37 you are free to arrive. All lung developed and such.

All my love, 

Mom

Dear Deedle: nesting and suger

Hi little one.  31 weeks and a few days along here and things are getting real.  We are onto appointments every two weeks and by dinnertime my waddle is full on.  I physically need to take more breaks - get off my feet more.  But as soon as I do,  my head just swarms with things I need to get done.  The essentials.  You know, like taking the vacuum completely apart and washing it from top to bottom, inside and out.  Baking pans of rice to freeze for easy meals when you get here.  Reorganizing closets and getting rid of clutter by the bag full.  I have lists and lists - to do's, to clean, to get from amazon.  At night, your daddy and I are trying to find names that fit as we watch my rolling belly and wonder what body part is going to come flying up next.  Oh and you make me dream of ice cream.  I never have been a huge fan and now I am eating it sometimes daily.  Grow big little one.  Mama's doing her part out here with the extra fudge sauce.

dear deedle: spots

Dear Deedle,

Lately, I have been carving out little spots for you.  There are only one or two more boxes left to unpack and my head has switched from nesting into the new house to nesting for you.  There is a little bed beside our big one, a table for the nursing supplies beside the rocker and a shelf with freshly washed blankets awaiting the load of burp clothes and swaddles in the linen closet.   

The weeks are creeping up on single digits and my doctor appointments are coming more frequent.  People grin when you make my belly shake.  Your getting the hiccups a lot and either you really love them or they make you angry... because you kick and turn and kick some more when ever you have them.  Your daddy and I really enjoy finding your body parts and poking.  It is so neat to be able to feel your little parts.  Keep them growing big and strong little one.

Love, me.

Dear Deedle

Hi little one.  Sorry it has been a while for these letters of mine.

Ahhh but here we are - almost 28 weeks along.

(Your mamma is awkward at mirror photos... what do you do with that arm?)

My ticker for you hit the 90 day mark a few days ago...

now that made me sit up straight.

We are still getting settled into all the newness after the move.

I have rearranged the kitchen a few dozen times and left a space for your little things to go.

I made room for a few bottles on the shelf the other day... fingers crossed you might take one.

(A date night some day would be really awesome for your daddy and I.)

Being honest little Deedle - that is where we are in the baby prepping phase...

a half empty shelf and some room in our closet.

I got asked the other day about your nursery.

It is the thing people ask - especially when you have just moved into a new house.

It is part of the baby-small-talk protocol I believe.

But like your big brother, there is not a nursery.

Just your special spots...

in our bedroom, in the living room and I am sure more will show up everywhere else too.

I have a tiny shopping list of needs and wants.

The itty-bitty clothes have been sorted and are waiting their wash.

And I imagine you all the time.

Your little bum that makes my belly all lopsided...

 and tiny feet whose kicks really angers the cat trying to cuddle.

Your squishy face and pouty mouth.

The baby fuzz on your head.

How your knees will tuck up and arms will flail.

And that precious weight of you on my chest.

Less than 90 days Deedle.

Hugs and butt pats, Mama

dear deedle

Written February 15, 2014

Dear Deedle Bean,  

Wow!  Your already making your presence know.  This mommy has been sick-sick!  I thought I was getting away with it, then bam!  Six weeks hit and I guess so did all those precious baby growing hormones.   Right now all I want to eat are clementines, spicy Tom Yum soup and carbonated anything.  The rest of the time I usually am fighting through every bite.  Oh and the sleepiness!  I have been napping better than your brother and in bed by 9 o'clock.  

Love, Mama

Written March 16, 2014

Dear Deedle Bean,

We got to see you today.  You are all head and a little body.  There was a perfect fluttery heartbeat and you flapped your little arms and wiggled around for us.  

It never gets any less exciting to see a little tiny person on the screen.   You have been growing all safe and tucked in for weeks, but seeing you made all the sleepiness and nausea just fine.  Your daddy and I are the luckiest people in the world little Deedle. 

Love, Mama

Written April 9, 2014

Dear Deedle Bean,

I am sitting her having a coffee and cake break, your big brother and big sister are watching Mickey Mouse, and I am enjoying the feeling of you flipping over and over again.  I have felt tiny flips for a few weeks now.  But, today it isn't just a tiny second of feeling where I hold my breath waiting for it to maybe happen again.  Today it's been minutes, minutes of me misty eyed and almost gigging out loud at the same time.  Minutes of me shallow breathing and grinning from ear to ear.  And minutes of me marveling at the wonder of you, tucked away and growing strong. Hello little one.

Love, Mama

Written May 2, 2014

Dear Deedle Bean,

Today we could feel you from the outside.  Your sister and I sat on the couch, I was trying to not hold my breath, and she was chattering on excitedly.  You were kicking and thumping, telling the world, "Here I am!"  

Hello little one.  

Love us.

Written May 15, 2014

Dear Deedle Bean,

Today was your big day.  Deedle on Parade!  Our little name for the grand inspection of you and all your parts.  You are growing perfectly.  Strong heart, hands and feet.  You are right on track with a big head just like your sister and brother.  You're in great company there.

Your sister came with your daddy and I to see you.  She has called you a girl from day one.  You have even been named Belle, Rapunzel and Princess Elsa.   (Do you see a theme?)  Then she started calling you a "him" at the ultra sound.  When asked, she still says your a sister. You see she already has a brother.  

We are keeping it a surprise, and if you are a boy or a girl, we already love you to pieces.  It was so good to see you, to see your perfect heart and brain.  I will get to hold you in a few months.  Oh how my heart flips at that idea - holding a little tiny you in my arms.

Love, Mama

Written May, 21, 2014

Dear Deedle Bean, 

Today we had our last doctor appointment in Columbus.  It's hard to believe we are halfway to meeting you!  In less than a month we will be all moved in to a new house and (hopefully) unpacked and settled in.

At your appointment today, when Dr. Boyles went to catch your heartbeat, you flipped and kicked and squirmed.  It sounded like demolition was going on in there.  She and I giggled.  When I giggle my belly button pops out and back in, back out and back in.  That made the doctor, me and even your sister laugh.  

You heartbeat was strong and steady.  Grow Deedle grow.

Love mama.

dear deedle

written January 27, 2014

Dear Deedle Bean,

So my plan to wait on testing again until today didn't work so well.  I blame the cheap amazon tests for that.  I have a pile of strips and a series of tiny bit darker lines.  Today I took a real test.  The ones that swear their accuracy to 99%. There were two bright pink lines, no squinting or special lighting required.  

I am telling your daddy tomorrow.  It's Eva's birthday, and we are heading to dinner at our family's special celebrating place.  The place where we celebrate all our birthdays, half birthdays, big news and tests with two pink lines.  It is tradition and it's going to be a great day.  

Love, 

your momma 

written January 28, 2014

Dear Deedle Bean, 

Your daddy is over the moon and your sister says you are a girl.  Sharing her birthday with the news she's going to have another baby sibling didn't phase her a bit.  When I asked her "what if the baby is a brother?" She said, "but it's not."  She's a very confident big sister.

I am just glad to know your there.  Growing and happy cell dividing.  I am going to eat gelato for you - hope you like it.

Love, 

your mama

written February 8, 2014

Dear Deedle Bean,

I was out shopping the other day and saw the cutest baby outfit.  I held it up and thought for sure it was a newborn size... but no it was 6 months.  How quickly I forget the tiny newborn phase!

I am  up in the air, heading to Colorado to help your Auntie Liz and snuggle her brand new baby girl.  I am sure I will be thinking of you a lot this trip.  

You're still a pretty quiet feeder/grower in there - I have only tossed my cookies a few times.  Aside from the more frequent bathroom trips - there hasn't been too much more notably different.  Thank goodness the woman beside me is nice on the plane.  After making her let me out to the restroom every 30 minutes or so on this flight - she is still smiling at me.  

Leaving your daddy, sister and brother for this trip was harder than I thought.  I had been looking forward to reading, sipping a coffee and relaxing so much.  Then today came and a part of me, the huge mommy/wife part, was incredibly sad at the thought of leaving.

Knowing that there are two of us on this flight makes me feel a little better.  Happy first plane ride.

Love, 

your momma

dear deedle

Written January 24, 2014

I did this "day in the life post" that day.

This coffee bean would not be swept up... 

I took a picture because it made me think of a tiny you.

Dear Deedle Bean, 

We have been trying for you.  It was early. After a few minutes - nothing.  A little ache in my heart, but I wasn't expecting it really - just hoping.

I got dressed and came back, went to toss the test and then I saw it... there was a faint second line.  So very faint that I thought my eyes were playing tricks.  I took the test to the window, angled it this way and that way, squinted and even brought out the flashlight on my phone.  

My heart skipped beats then it filled them in at like horses galloping.  

There, in an almost barely visible pink line, was a maybe you.  I took two more tests to compare.  Thank goodness for the bag full of cheapies I bought on amazon.  Back to the windows and again the flashlight.  Yes, Deedle Bean, your mamma might be a little crazy.  Sorry about that.

I tried not to get too excited.  You see, last month I had this same moment.  A faint line and few days of excitement and planning how to tell your daddy.  A week later - instead of a darker line - the line disappeared.  

So here I was on the peak of being so very hopeful and trying not to get my hopes up....  What to do?  I started cleaning.  That is my answer to almost every emotional conflict - clean.

I busied my mind and got the house in ship shape.  Your sisters birthday party is tomorrow and I have a lot to do.  I took photos of our "normal" day and folded laundry.  I tried to keep the silly smile off my face and the ribbon of fear out of my heart.  

But laying here in bed tonight, I can't help but grin from ear to ear.  Stay snug.

Love,

Your hope filled Mamma

stowaway

We had a little stowaway with us on our trip.

We snuck through security and customs and no one caught us.

Good thing it was a tiny thing.

We are 16 weeks today and really excited.

Deedle #3 updates and posts to come.