I guess when you ask the question...

...you get the answer.

As part of the Wednesday Writing Assignment, I asked my husband to tell me one of my weaknesses.

When I asked today - he stood and thought a while. This delay was to either to think of a weakness, or to choose one of many. I am going with the first idea.

Then he says, "You lack empathy."

Wow, that sounds bad. Really bad. Not what I was expecting.

He goes on to explain that when situations involve me, or are directly related to me personally, I become unemotional or show less emotion than a normal person. He said I "shut down" my emotions in high emotional situations. It makes it look like I don't feel or care as much as others.

He gave the example of when my mom had her heart attack. I was newly pregnant, and my mom was touch and go. Yet, I was calm and pretty unemotional during the entire night.

I was a wreck - on the inside. But on the outside, I felt like I needed to hold it all together. I cried hysterically, the entire drive to the hospital. Once there, I shut it all off. My dad needed me to have it together. At least that is what I thought.

I kind of knew this about myself. I actually thought it was a good thing that I could keep my calm in stressful situations, think rationally and factually.

It is also easier. Put the emotions away and focus on what can be done. If nothing can be done - then you can always clean. That is my MO - when really upset and things are beyond my control - I clean.

I guess I never thought about how it could look and feel to others. I didn't realize that I can come across as being cold and uncaring. I minimize how others feel. I don't mean to do it, but I do.

I am sure that it isn't the healthiest way to deal with emotions either. Bottling them up, putting on the strong front. It is easier for me to do that then to lay all the emotions out on the table. The easiest thing is usually not the right thing to do.

So, this is something to work on. Ask and you shall receive.

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