Today

Dear Monster,

All the toys are all in the toy box...

the books are safe on the shelves.

Even the mail basket has sat untouched today... 

all the mail, ads and fliers are still neatly tucked inside.

You are feeling pretty awful - rotten even.

I woke you up this morning... I usually don't have to do that.

I remember you crying last night...

it sounded like the type of cry that means you would need some snuggles, rocks and maybe milk...

but my the time I had went to the bathroom and back to your door, you were asleep again.

When I went to get you up this morning, you were all squished down at the other end of your crib.

You had been sick on your pillow.

It made mommy cry to know that you needed her last night and she didn't know.

I am sorry little monster.

You have been getting sick on and off all day.  

We have been snuggling, hugging and holding all the rest of it.

It has been quite a while since you have fallen asleep on my chest...

and I sat and enjoyed it, smelling your hair, feeling you breathe.

I was lucky, the camera was right beside me from cleaning out the diaper bag... 

it was in your way when you felt sick.

I know someday you will be sick and not need me to care for you...
even though I would, always.

I will want to remember you little and sleeping again.

You fell asleep holding my hand...

each hand holding a finger.

You do this in the car when you are sad or mad.

See mommy's thumb?

When mommy worries, she has a bad habit of biting around her thumbs.

I have been worrying a lot today.

While I was enjoying you sleeping one me, you started stirring around, trying to stretch out...

you like to stretch out and sleep on your tummy...

so I put you in your crib...

and turned the monitor way up so I could hear even the littlest peep.

Get better little monster.  Sleep well and rest up.

The living room is too clean and mommy misses your smile.