3.03.2011

Compare


I have been doing this a lot... comparing.

Looking at others and finding a whole lot of "-er" words.
better
nicer
thinner
prettier
calmer
happier

And then there are the "mores"
more prepared
more organized
more knowledgeable
more friends
more fun

When I was working, I had plenty of measures.
My boss, my students, my contacts.
If I did a good job - I knew it.
If I screwed something up... boy I really knew it.
I had percentages, test scores, results all to tell me...
affirming my time and energy were being of good use.

This mommy job is different.
There are no charts or scales.
No one waiting in the wings to applaud.
No nasty phone calls to handle when you drop the ball.

A good day ends almost the same as a bad day...
hopefully a sleeping baby and a few hours to relax.

An "X" on the calendar and on to the next.

There are quiet affirmations...
but these are easily missed.

There isn't a yardstick...
so you hold yourself up against others.

Measure...
Compare...
Compete...

Sometimes it makes you feel good...
but not for long.

The majority of the time...
especially lately...
the winner of the comparison competition is not myself.
Everyone else is doing something better than me.
I am losing.

But what am I losing?

Oh, that's right...
this made-up, imaginary
 me against them thing in my head.

That's dumb.

These comparisons are useless.

They do harm.
They are not nice.
There is always a loser.
They are flat and shallow.

We don't need to be better than someone else.

What we do need to be is...
better...
nicer...
calmer...
happier...

with ourselves.

Take care.

shitz6


The Daily Wyatt

13 comments:

Heidi said...

I love this Nessa. Everything about it is so spot on. Out in the world = confidence, here in the home = wtf? And you nailed it with realizing that the end of a bad day as a mom is just about the same as the end of a good day. Love this, love you. Thank you for sharing!

Erin said...

This is just what I needed to read today! Thank you!

Charlotte | Life's a Charm! said...

I like how this ended.
I believe that there really isn't anyone else we need to compare ourselves with but with the person we were yesterday.

pve design said...

Elevate is the word I use because when we lift ourselves up, the view is a little nicer! Sounds like you need to take a little elevator ride to the top and look out and see the view...it is the same for everyone.
pve

Lindsay said...

Great post, thank you for sharing! You are so right, we need to stop comparing and just be the best we can be.

Audrey @ TheDailyWyatt.blogspot.com said...

What a wonderful post! and so true... :)

Kelly said...

Awesome post!! Something I really needed after the day we had. Thank you!

Kimberly said...

So, so true! Thanks, I really needed to read that today!

Valary said...

Loved this Nessa. Comparing is such an awful trap to fall into and once you have fallen, it is very hard to climb out. I still have to make a concerted effort to not go there as a Mom.

Rachel~Wildflower Photography and a little bit vintage said...

Lovely post. :) Great photo, too! Thanks for visiting and your comment! :)

Ms. Pony said...

Your photo is fun and your message is spot on- it can be so hard to just be yourself and not try to measure yourself against others, but sometimes taking a step back can help. Wonderful post!

The Clip Cafe said...

Stopped in from Texture Thursday ;-) Love your shadow and post.

Meredith said...

I love this. It's such a good reminder/affirmation for us moms!