Big Sister

Eva kissing Theo web.jpg

Eva loves her Baby Feeodore.
He is so cute.
She gives him tickles and hugs.

She told me that he sleeps a lot.
She worries when he cries.

There have been two attempts made on holding him... unassisted.
One was successful... the other we were glad we stopped it in action.

There is still a lot of adjusting.
The Eva-monster is pretty mad at her mommy.

Since Theodore was born...
I can count on one hand the number of times she has let me hold her.

I get told hourly to
go away Mommy.

That phrase stings.
And what hurts more, she is hurting.
It breaks my heart.

Every two hours I am cuddling someone else.
Holding and loving someone, that isn't her.

She gets the super tired mommy.
The one up through the night with a baby and just not as fun.

I don't ever put Theodore in time out.
He doesn't have to be patient and wait.

I know it will go away... the being so angry.
She will get used to being a sister instead of being the only.

Today is my very first day and night alone.
Mike has a 24 hour shift and it will just be the three of us.

I am hoping...
for a sleepy Theodore so I can play cars with Eva.
a decent night sleep so I can keep up with the two of them.

But mostly that...
my daughter can feel how much I love her.


Em S said...

Oh my gosh...good luck. I was so nervous the first time I had to do this by myself, granted it wasn't 24 hours, but it was me alone with a toddler and a new demanding baby. Try to remember to relax and take it one minute, one hour at a time!

Lillian said...

Awww - I just had tear running down my cheeks with my heart aching for you:( The things no one can ever prepare you for in parenthood. I promise, promise, promise a million times over that is WILL get better! She will know a million times over your love for her because it IS real and isn't going to stop and you guys will get through this together. It's so hard being little and so hard being a mama!

Lillian said...

p.s. Good luck with the 24 hrs! I hope you guys have fun play time - leave everything else and eat popsicles for lunch and dinner!

Lish said...

Oh, I remember this feeling all too well. It's so hard on the big sibling, especially when they are still little too and don't know how to handle changes and their emotions. She'll come around, I promise! Just do as much as you can to include her, get her to help out with the baby if she'll do that... :) Take care and try and enjoy this time!

Olivia Grace said...

Congrats on your beautiful baby boy, Nessa!!! You have been blessed with two beautiful angels!! I am just getting caught up on all my blog reading and was so excited to see baby Theodore!! He is precious!

Kelly said...

This is exactly why I am terrified for #2 to arrive. I already know C is going to have a rough adjustment and I just hope I am able to help him figure out all those complex emotions :/

Rachel said...

Don't worry - it WILL get SO much better! It won't be long before she will absolutely adore him and think everything he does is hilarious and wonderful. :D

tinajo said...

It will change, sooner than you think - and as soon as he can follow her around, she´ll be his heroine..! :-)

Nikki said...

Depending on your schedule, Harper and I would love to come visit. And maybe we can take Eva to play for a little while one day.

misc.alaina said...

Oh, this breaks my heart for you! Eva is a sweet girl, and of course she loves her momma, so hopefully she will come around soon. Hang in there!!

rooth said...

Congrats on the new baby and I'm sure that Eva will turn into such a good big sister. It just takes time and adjustment - she's got a big role to play :)

Lori said...

I feel your pain. It's rough but u will find a balance. Your relationships will change because your life has changed in a really great way. Eva will come around.

Adrienne said...

I was so connected to my first, that...A) I couldn't even imagine loving another anything as much...and B)I had dreams when I was pregnant about throwing the new baby out the window when my daughter came to visit us in the hospital...eek! Those first weeks everything is so intense...and then life settles, and security comes. I read this yesterday, and couldn't think what to write...and then saw your sweet pic with her on instagram. They push us away and pull us back in many, many times over their years of growing...our 'job' is just to absolutely be there when they're ready to pull us back in! HUGS!

Courtney K. said...

Oh this breaks my heart. Some things are just so complicated for them and too hard to wrap their tiny little heads around. I fear this same thing happening when our second is born and I'm trying my hardest to do and plan accordingly so that he and I still get our special time. It's hard for me to imagine splitting my time between two children when I'm so connected to my first. Hugs to you!!

Melanie said...

Oh gosh my sweet friend... my heart goes out to you. Even though I was a bit older than monster when my little brother was born, I remember how crazy jealous I was. I literally remember asking my mom if we could please take him back! Lol... it's fuuny now, but let me tell ya I was serious. It will all even out hon, just keep on being the AMAZING LOVING mommy that you are, & all will be ok. Everyone is adjusting! Hope you get some good sleep girl!! xo

That sweet shot of the three of you makes me want a little one to add to out little family! You are such a lucky mommy, & so are they! Novel... over! The end.

Cari from Bubble Gum on my Shoe said...

She knows. And soon, she will not even remember what life was like without that little boy, she will be protective of him, and she will love him. She loves you so much it hurts to share. And I must agree, I don't like to share either.