bath time and being needed


We had done the park - twice.  Played cars and kitchen, washed laundry and cleaned, ran errands and played in the fountain.  Theo was on his third outfit by dinner.  Eva had changed her clothes on her own a few times.  I was exhausted.  Mentally and physically.  SO many needs - and I was the only one to here to meet them.  Daddy was working a 32 hour shift - probably longer - and we were only a little over 15 hours in.  

But there is something about bath time isn't there?  The cute, naked tooshies, sudsy hair, play boats and mermaids that makes sit all okay.  Then realizing I hadn't talked to my mom in a day or two and I need to call her tonight... that is all it took to snap me out of it.  

They do need me, a lot.   They need me for everything - saving them from cars in parking lots and washing their hair.  That is what I am here for, to take care of them and keep them safe, even though I forget sometimes.  Accidental bathtub drowning by your loving sibling is a real threat.  And it is good to be needed, because one day they soon they won't need as much. Then a little later than that, they will be tired, on the bathroom floor, giving a bath,  making mental notes to call their mom before they crash into bed - because they miss her lots and need to talk to a person that knows what a day like this is like.  A pretty great, but exhausting day.


Dear Deedle: nesting and suger

Hi little one.  31 weeks and a few days along here and things are getting real.  We are onto appointments every two weeks and by dinnertime my waddle is full on.  I physically need to take more breaks - get off my feet more.  But as soon as I do,  my head just swarms with things I need to get done.  The essentials.  You know, like taking the vacuum completely apart and washing it from top to bottom, inside and out.  Baking pans of rice to freeze for easy meals when you get here.  Reorganizing closets and getting rid of clutter by the bag full.  I have lists and lists - to do's, to clean, to get from amazon.  At night, your daddy and I are trying to find names that fit as we watch my rolling belly and wonder what body part is going to come flying up next.  Oh and you make me dream of ice cream.  I never have been a huge fan and now I am eating it sometimes daily.  Grow big little one.  Mama's doing her part out here with the extra fudge sauce.


blood and tennis


One morning last week we were getting ready to head out.  Park, grocery, post office... nothing unusual.  We were all in different stages of getting ready to leave.  Eva was almost dressed, Theo needed pants and I was in the middle of dressing myself.  As I was picking out bottoms and getting ready to take off my pajama shorts... I hear a thump and an Eva scream.  I get to their bathroom and she is bloody mouthed and loosing it.  Nothing major - just a bloody lip - but tragic for her.  So I am holding, rocking, shushing and getting blood down the front of my white undershirt.  

Then I hear it.  The screen door slam.  At first I thought maybe Michael was home.  Then reality sinks in and I know it is Theo.  He has escaped.  I am trying to untangle from Eva who does not want me to put her down and run to the kitchen.  He's gone.  She's screaming, hysterically at this point.  I am running out the door, searching frantically, scanning and yelling his name.  And then I see him.

He is right across the street.  In the middle of the tennis courts - which are full to the brim with morning league play.  He has confiscated one ball already and asking for someones racket.  All games have stopped and he is getting lots of "hi's" and I hear a "where is your mommy buddy?"  

Here she is!!  Walking over, in a tight, bloody maternity undershirt and sleep shorts.  About 8 months pregnant, no shoes and a bad case bed head.   Oh, and I have no contacts on either so excuse the squint as I try to look like I am making eye contact.  But I too embarrassed to make actual eye contact, so I will be staring at eyebrows and noses.  I am right here!! Jogging over to grab my half naked two year old who I obviously let wander off, unattended.  Oh this blood, it's nothing.  My daughter just busted her lip.  Oh look! There she is - on the sidewalk screaming for me with blood trailing down her face.  Ha Ha -  she is four, he is two and yeah I am due real soon.!  Yeah, I am really going to have my hands full - your right!  Thanks guys and sorry to interrupt your game.  Have a great day!


rocks and animals

A friends rock collection and our animal collection equal loads and hours of fun.
Our giraffe is a carnivore and the baby lion is a rock-ivore.


dear deedle: spots

rocking chair
linen closet - deedle
Dear Deedle,

Lately, I have been carving out little spots for you.  There are only one or two more boxes left to unpack and my head has switched from nesting into the new house to nesting for you.  There is a little bed beside our big one, a table for the nursing supplies beside the rocker and a shelf with freshly washed blankets awaiting the load of burp clothes and swaddles in the linen closet.   

The weeks are creeping up on single digits and my doctor appointments are coming more frequent.  People grin when you make my belly shake.  Your getting the hiccups a lot and either you really love them or they make you angry... because you kick and turn and kick some more when ever you have them.  Your daddy and I really enjoy finding your body parts and poking.  It is so neat to be able to feel your little parts.  Keep them growing big and strong little one.

Love, me.


first window

I love my new kitchen.  There is so much room and space.  The kids can eat or play in there while I do dishes or cook.  It has more even space than I could ever possibly need.  There are empty drawers and shelves.  I am spoiled rotten.

Michael and I have had some tiny kitchens over the years.  Our very first apartment had a kitchen so tiny that you had to make a choice...  open the oven, open the fridge, have more than one person in there, or sit at our little dining table.  No two of these things could be done at the same time.  

Back then I had had about three meals I could cook.  Spaghetti, shake-n-bake chicken and grilled cheese.  A gifted Betty Crocker cookbook changed it all for me.  Chicken Marsala - the very first recipe I tried and we loved it.  It was  uncomplicated and only had a few special ingredients.  Cooking it made me feel fancy and eating it made us feel fancy - wine, mushrooms, and tarragon. 

And that is how it started.  Realizing that what I could make in that tiny kitchen could turn a normal night into something more than that.  Better than average.  I learned to love my tiny kitchen.  It taught me a lot.
I learned to put a baking sheet over the sink to give me extra counter space.  A few good pans were better than a huge set.  If I didn't use it or really need it - it was gone.

And here we are, 10 years later.  I have a lot more drawers, a ton more counter space, but things really haven't changed that much. Even though I thought it would.  I don't keep my slow cooker in the basement or my boxes of tea tucked in a mixing bowl anymore.  Things have room to breath and I have empty drawers.  Don't get me wrong, the space in amazing.  Being able to have everyone in the kitchen when I cook - I love that.  Love it.  But looking back I don't think I would give up my time in all those tiny kitchens.  

It was good to me.  I learned way more than cooking.  I learned that we love food and I love to cook.  I learned how to make do, make it work, and how I only really need one of something.  That keeping things in the oven is a great storage solution - until your forget to check it before preheating.  I learned that a really sharp knife can replace an entire row of cool gadgets.

There is one thing in my new kitchen that I have never had.  The thing that I may never be able to give up.  A window over the sink.   I get to start my day hearing the birds and seeing the early morning fog burn slowly away as the sun comes up.  Seeing the sky change colors as the morning starts... I love it so much I can barely stand it.



She is practicing tracing her letters on the iPad.
She is normally right handed - but not today.

"I am slower with this hand, but I am teaching Feodore."

joining Adrienne... finally!