10.07.2009

Writing


When I look in the mirror, I see someone I don't know very well yet.

Head and neck are the same. Over time my hair has faded from a flame red-orange to a coppery-blonde. The freckles on my face are hard too see - sunscreen keeps them light - but I miss them sometimes.

As you scroll down, there is a fuller chest. Not hugely noticeable, but larger non-the-less. Now that the tenderness has finally gone away - my husband (and I) can enjoy the change.

And then there is my tummy. My stomach has always been on the flat side - but with a thin little layer of padding. No super athletic stomach here - regardless of the crunches and other torturous exercises I have done. On my good days looks very feminine and on the bad days I blame on too many treats and not enough exercise. It is probably a good mix of both.

Now, I look as though I swallowed a soccer ball. A hard soccer ball. My posture has changed - though I am trying hard to keep a straight back - there is a sway that creeps in. I think that Grandma would be okay with this temporary posture change. (She was the sit-up-straight-natzi when I was growing up.) Now there is a very faint line going through my belly button and heading south. Oh, my belly button- it is getting more shallow by the day.

Legs and feet haven't changed too much. Legs aren't quite as toned... but there will be time for that later (I hope). The skin on my legs are dry - I keep forgetting to lotion them - I rather lotion my belly. There are faint tiny blue lines around my ankles - I think New York did that. I also blame New York for the healing blisters.

There are changes are in my face - I can see them clearly, but I am not sure if others can or not. My face is similar - but I have stop scrutinizing it every morning. With other, more important things to think and worry about, the little wrinkles above my left eyebrow have faded. The start of tiny lines around my eyes are not large enough anymore to obsess over. I think my eyes are softer... I day dream more. When the baby moves - I smile. Just a little smile - a little secretive smile. It is my little secret conversation between me an the little one.

I wonder a lot how the reflection will look post-baby. Some days I worry about it - others I feel like it is just another part of making this amazing little creature. Vanity is losing - being a mommy is winning.

5 comments:

Loni said...

Being a mommy is totally winning and so worth it! A little soccer belly, so cute! Congratulations.

Jenners said...

This was really sweet!!! And I can tell you that once you have the baby, you won't have time to look in the mirror anymore!!! : )

Congrats and enjoy!

The Cottage Cheese said...

There is far more beauty in being a Mom than any physical beauty. Congratulations, I'm so excited for you and your husband!

Mama Kat said...

There's is nothing more beautiful in life than a woman actually carrying one!! Love this!

Scary Mommy said...

I agree, there is NOTHING more beautiful than carrying life!