2.07.2011

Worrywart

noun wər-ē-ˌwȯrt
: a person who is inclined to worry unduly

I always thought it was worrywort? 

but anyhoo 
I am one none the less...

A few years ago it was too much.
I would worry about things that have no consequence
that were outside of my control 
that I had no business trying to control.

Let me tell you, that is tiring - exhausting even. 
Especially when all the worrying keeps you up all hours of the night.
It was really bad.

So bad that little ol' me who rarely asks for help - asked.

It got better.
Help helped.
I learned to unworry.

I thought pregnancy and mommy-hood would bring some of it back.
I can see where that could easily happen.
Thankfully, for me it has seemed to go the other way.

Eva made me worry less.
Weird huh?  
I thought so...

Don't get me wrong - I worry about things...
but normal things in normal amounts.
Good healthy worries.

Then it happened...
slowly at first and then faster and faster...
as Eva's 1st birthday approached it reached monumental worry status.

The only thing I could think about was...

weaning.


It was a constant stream...

she won't take a sippy
we will never get to go on a night out
she nursed 6 times today
tomorrow only 4 times - that is it
she is one - she doesn't need to nurse anymore
she woke up last night to nurse, again
I should have tried harder to get her to sleep without it
she hates food
she will be nursing until she is in kindergarden
what about chocolate milk
my parents really want her to stay over
so-and-so is only nursing before bed
another so-and-so we know loves their sippy
maybe we should try cold turkey

on and on and on...
It seemed like the more I tried to cut back, the worse it got.

Then, last weekend I stopped the pressure...
on me and her.

I don't care that she still wants to nurse.
So what if she can't spend the night at grandmas yet.
Big deal that I nursed her at 3 am
She went right back to sleep and slept until 8.
Kindergarden is a long way off.
Who cares about so-and-so.
She is only one and a few days.
She isn't ready.
I like cardigans.

So I quit trying...
I nursed when she asked.
I offered her a sippy cup, but I didn't pressure.
If she woke up wanting to eat - she ate.

Guess what...
She is cutting back on her own.
2 or 3 times a day now.
Back to sleeping through the night.
She likes her sippy cup and carries it around herself.

When she isn't reading my her spanish dictionary...

6 comments:

pve design said...

My twins are 18 and every age has a stage and a phase.
Now we have college x 2 and a wonderful future ahead of them! I just embrace every age....but what a sweetie pie you have, worth all the worrying in the universe.
pve

Lindsay said...

I have those days too... mine are mainly... is she ever going to go to sleep without nursing. And my worrying isn't go to do a thing about it :-) She will when she is ready.

And I love Eva's little brown and pink outfit! Hoodies are adorable!

Nikki said...

I've found that it's true, once you take the pressure off they seem to figure it out. You'll get that night out soon momma. Maybe even in time for girls night out.

Heidi said...

It really is amazing what happens when we stop trying to force a time line on these creatures, isn't it? I personally feel like I can breathe better when I think "Oh well, no biggie."

Sitting in Fred with my pipe helps too. :)

Rici said...

Mama-don't you stress at all! I completely believe they will wean when they are ready. Teagan started weaning herself around 10 mths and so she was ready to be fully weaned at a year. Had she not been ready we would have waited and worked on it when she was. Good for you for just letting it happen. She will do it when she's ready and when she is ready you both will be prepared.
Also, love that she's reading your/her spanish dictionary... ;-)hehe

mel said...

this is awesome!
I can't even tell you how much I related to what you wrote. Kind of crazy.

it goes to quickly.