Theodore is on the upswing.
We are getting little bits of our smiley guy.
But the nights are still rough.
Sleeping is fitful and intermittent.
I am pacing, bouncing and soothing, praying for him and me.
What is about sickness that makes it grow larger at night?
Like the moon has a pull on the pain, making it sharper.
The night sky making in burn and flash brighter.
Against the quiet of the sleepy world...
his cries seem louder, lonely and so sad.
My tired eyes making the edges of the world blurry.
Soothing lullabies broken by long yawns.
I just want sleep.
Then, the combination works...
the fever reducers, the rocking, the kisses and twinkle twinkle little star.
His body that was strung so tight, releases.
Closed eyes flutter open one last time...
just to make sure I am still there.
And the fact that I am there...
it is the only thing he needs now.